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consumer warning…this is an excessively long email….sorry!!!!!!
hey again all…
i know twice in as many weeks… you’re all still recovering from the last great epic… but after the traumatic start to this year’s great darwin adventure… i figured i’d better not leave it tooooo long till part 2!!!
again… a big welcome to those of you new to the series (the misdaventures of laurie) and may you all find a comfy chair…..
so when i last left you, i was recovering on a 4 and a half hour flight after a traumatic near failed expeditition to the airport that apparently (according to the responses i have since recieved) only i could pull off… you will recall my complete and utter panic at the fear of missing this flight and the mad desperate taxi scene as i raced to the airport tv style…
and you all breathed your collective sighs of relief when the world’s best qantas man (who still needs a hug) found me a space on the plane… you laughed with me as i ran through the terminal belt and boots in hand like a crazy woman… but then did you ever stop to consider…what happened next?…
well darwin…
what can i say???
i love it…and each visit brings me back to the age old question…why the heck don’t i just move up there…which i assure you is sincerely on the cards….
wet season… warm, tropical storms, lush vegetation…
dry season…. warm, temperate breezes, mad live through anything vegetation….
seriously folks?? what’s not to love…
so arriving in darwin & greeting my long lost pal we embarked straight away on a compulsary trip to litchfield…the best national park in all of australia (and i can say that with some conviction seeing as i have now visited most of them)…. the usual joy of getting dumped under the surging waters of a waterfall, of swimming in your own little private oasis, to haul your butt out of the water only then to discover the “do not swim” crocodile warning sign… to be chased by the menacing water monitors…whom appear to be on steroids & perculiarly take a liking to my ankles… but best of all just to feel free, to have sunshine beating down on soft pasty white skin, to breathe the fresh air & feel life coarse through your veins once more….
if you have not done so yet i recommend a visit to this place…
allow me to add some photographic inspiration to this…  (see i’m even getting technical in my old age) of the infamous buley rockholes and the gorgeous wangi falls.
but the real laurie adventure????
well…that all started on saturday…
like true bush explorers kimmy and i set off down the red dusty track to the wee fishing village of dundee (far north west for those of you following on your maps)…
starting with a tour of kim’s new block of land a gorgeous jungle of trees, gullies, boulders and general scrub…
of course, being the complete toughies that we are (read bonafide girly wouses) we jumped at every rustle and thump that we passed (most of which resulted in us jumping at our own footsteps)… but that didn’t prevent us from our quest of looking for the illusive braham bull that alledgedly roams the property…fabled to be 2 and a half metres high with red demon eyes and hooves of pure steel… nor did it prevent us from expertly tracking the “pig diggings” in search of the family of menacing wild boar that terrorise the unsuspecting and chase the fearful up trees…. and most notoriously… we were hunting the mighty king brown.. the most powerful & allusive predator of the aussie snake family….
after finding none of the above… but suffering mild heat stroke in the process we decided to retire to “the lodge” dundee’s “5 star” (if by star ratings you refer to the amount of sand flies & wee beasties) resort (aka camp ground)…
while true adventurers may have stayed on at the block and pursued said beats, we quickly realised there would be no sleep due to severe jumpiness and scaredy cat nature of our heroes…
so…at the lodge we battled the elements and in true (2 blondes at work) style managed to assemble the taj mahal of all tents in as little as 7 attempts!!!!!
so with this victory under our belts we settled in with our stunning “essence de rid” perfume & polished off a bottle of vodka…
feeling merry we braved the scrub down to the beach.. stumbled gracefully along the shoreline watched a magical sunset…. and started into just a few more drinks…
as it turns out.. we picked the largest night of the dundee year..
there were at least 50 people in town…and a band!!!!
never to be outdone by the professionals… it wasn’t long before we seized control of the microphone (and the entire dance floor) and tore up the social scene….
it emerges at this point (between shimmies, pirouettes & grapevines) that of the 4 other women there that night, we were accused of being 17 years old!!!!! but more significanly were quite the talking point of every male converstaion in the place…and thus it was…
2 simple girls, burning it up on the dance floor, cutting loose & singing completely off key to old favourites such as “dancing queen” managed to escalate tomorrows rock fishing plans to invites on 3 seperate fishing charters & an exclusive beach party….
needless to say… the night rolled on… there are stories to tell.. but ones that require serious hand & facial actions….
as the band packed up…but the dancing and singing continued..progressively more off key… it emerged that out sense of direction had evaded us…
not only could we not follow the noise to find said beach party…but where the heck did we leave our tent???
stumbling, faltering, tripping rustling through the bush (and accidently falling into a barra pond) for the life of us someone seriously moved the tent!!!! and then it happened… the giant thumping sounds… the grunts… the deafening roar… AAAAGGGHHH!!!!! unimaginable bush beasties… running through the scrub like women possessed being chased by unimaginable foes until at least (in spite of waking up every other camper at the site) we found our haven… where through some evil twist of fate the air had escaped our trusty air mattress.
but sleep eventually came…
come the morning.. heads a little rough…backs bruised & battered & memories a little foggy we made our way to breakfast… had we dreamt those fishing offers???
but no… light of day…
and our dancing powers reign supreme…
some new friends to the rescue and a spot on a deep sea fishing charter awaits…
a good feed of cholesterol later and off into the azure blue we whisk… dolphins frollicing, sun shining and diamonds sparking on the endless blue..
out to secret fishing holes in the great wide ocean….and laurie’s first real fishing adventure….
the thrill of the bight…
the battle as a giant from the deep pulls your line from underneath you and the epic quest as you fight to surface the monster…
again at this point… many a story…as each fish quickly became my “biggest ever catch”… but rest assured i fought hard and have impressive circular bruises on my stomach….battle wounds from my weapon of choice (a fishing rod) which ploughed into my tummy in the sheer desperation not to be sucked into the great blue deep…as i surfaced the beasts of below…
amongst the haul, some impressive boggly eyed fish (technical name of course), snapper, blue bone & a coral trout (which i am told is good eating…bummer i refuse to eat anything that swims in it’s own pee)…but best of all… my first ever shark…
thrashing like a demon possessed it took control of the boat’s floor.. it’s teeth snapping like wild machete’s!!! convinced it was going to consume my toes (because in all honesty that is about all it could fit in it’s mouth) i did what all brave heroes do…climb to a safe point & let the captain of the boat deal with it…
yes… my reputation as your fearless warrior remains in tact…
but as the day wore on… the combination of last night’s excesses, sunburn, and burly from a new friend… an early end to our extraordinary adventure… at this point…Kudos to me for not chucking my guts up!!!!!!!
anyways… as always…there are more stories to tell… but i think perhaps i have waffled way too long as it is…
sorry it’s not a classic… but am still trying to unclog the writers block..
for those in the know the gypsy within is looking for a without & i hope to hit the road again next year!!!!
hugs to all
& a favour to ask… if you have any copies of my old tales ( as bless hotmail for deleting them) i’d love a copy!!!!!
am sure i will be out doing something embarrassing in a corner of the world near you soon!!!!
always.
laurie…. fearless warrior.
it's the simple life for me... OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA Douglas Daly Hot Springs OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA Just a little fishy friend... OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA No. I will not hold the fishy...
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